Got an Encouraging Friend?  

(Part 4 of 5)

“Be slow to fall into friendship, but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.”                                                                                    Socrates

“It’s difficult for men to take a sincere interest in others.  Our thinking tends to be task oriented not people oriented.  We think of jobs to be done rather than individuals who need appreciation and recognition.”

                                             David Smith, The Friendless American Male

 

The Lost Art of Encouragement

 Do you need encouragement?  Do you need someone who believes in  you when your boss or wife or family members or church acquaintances or coworkers or others really don’t?  Of course you do and so do I.  All men need encouragement especially in these days of viscious social media speech and all consuming negativity.  When is the last time you were encouraged?  Built up and appreciated for just being …………… you?  Not for your work accomplishments or your intelligence or good looks.  But an encouragement in who you are in Christ…….. your completeness in Jesus.

Have You Lost Yourself?

During weak and challenging moments in my life, I have become my job, my marriage, my house, my 401k, my car, clothes or other possessions.  I have forgotten that I am the righteousness of Christ and have been set free from sin.  (Romans 6: 18). It is my new identity!  It is who I really am!  But why have I forgotten who I really am?  One reason is certainly my fault.  I have refused to believe the Word of God and simply ignored the truth.  

But another reason is tragic and what we want to address in AbelKeepers.  I have had few people in my life remind me WHO I am.  Very few men, in the 43 years I have been a Jesus follower, have reminded me that I am a “slave to righteousness” and no longer a “slave to sin”.  

A Life Worth Living

 As David Smith states in the above quote in his book, The Friendless American Male, relationships are not a high priority for most men.  We are focused on making money, completing tasks, fixing our marriages, warning our children, fulfilling our sexual needs or getting that job promotion.  But not about our life-long friend or the guy next to you on the airplane who is dying inside.  Depressed, lonely, broken, lost and without hope. 

I just heard another story last week about a 45 year old pastor who seemed to be blessed and in total control of his life, walk into a quiet field, and put a bullet in his head.  Men hide their feelings and their shame and their failures and refuse to humble themselves and confess.  Is it pride?

 This could be one reason why men are killing themselves 3.62 times more often than women with middle aged white men making up 70% of all suicides.  Men feel beat down, defeated, depressed, dissatisfied and emasculated every day.  We are all so self-consumed that we don’t think of others and we certainly don’t prefer others to our own selves.  

 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

                                                                                                Philippians 2:3-4

If we start considering others more important than ourselves, we start to make a real impact on our friends, communities, workplaces, family and even our enemies.  But this is supernatural work.  It ain’t normal.  Are you willing to step out?  And I am not speaking of your immediate family.  Anyone can love their own blood relatives, their own children, their own brother or sister or father or mother.  Try loving and preferring a non-relative who is hurting and needing encouragement. 

3 Encouragers – Barnabas, Epaphroditus, Timothy

Paraklesis = Encouragement/Consolation (Acts 4:36)

Barnabas practiced encouragement.  

 His name was Joseph but the apostles called him “Son of Encouragement” or Barnabas.  Why?  Just as Timothy proved himself to Paul with his actions, so did Barnabas prove himself to the apostles as we see in the very next verse in Acts 4:37:

(Barnabas) “sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.”

Encouragement is not a passive thing, it is full of action.  Action that involves selling your land and giving 100% of it to the Kingdom, leading others to the saving knowledge of Jesus (Acts 11:21), and bringing relief to the brothers in Judea (Acts 11:30).  Barnabas proved that encouragement is much more than kind words and prayer.  It is tangible action oriented love that performs necessary tasks.  Are you encouraging with actions and your money, not just words?

Epaphroditus, Sacrifice close to Death.

For he nearly died for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was lacking in your service to me.                                                             Philippians 2: 30

Paul called Epaphroditus “my brother”, “fellow worker”, “messenger and minister to my need”.  He was a servant and encourager to Paul and ministered to his need.  Paul goes on to say, “for he has been longing for you all”.  Do you have a Brother in Christ like that?  One who ministers to your needs and longs to see you?  I must be honest that I have fallen short in being a brother and friend like this, a real “keeper”.  There are very few brothers that love and encourage like Epaphroditus, even coming close to death.  

Timothy, genuinely concerned for your welfare

 And don’t forget Timothy!  Paul compares him to others in that “they all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.”   And then Paul confirms him with “you all know his proven worth”.  Timothy was a doer of the word and Paul could count on him.  His word was his word and he delivered what he promised.  He could be trusted.  He had Paul’s back.  Gotta a friend like that??  Most of you probably don’t.  You would be surprised at how many men tell me they have never had a friend like that, ever!  Paul goes on to say:

            “For I have no one like him, who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare.”

                                                                                                            Philippians 2: 20

Do you have a brother who is genuinely concerned for you and your sufferings in this life?  Who calls you on a weekly basis to listen about your life?  

Remember, these three men were not angels.  They were mere men!  Obedient men and full of the Holy Spirit.  (Acts 11:24).  At AbelKeepers, we believe there is no greater friend than Jesus!  No human being can replace him.  He is flawless and loyal in His friendship.  Perfect in every way.  And you can access Him immediately through prayer.  But we also believe that you need a “Keeper” in your life.  An Encourager who will believe in you when others don’t.  

Will you be that Encourager for someone who needs you today?